Monday, April 28, 2008

Why I no longer own a color printer...

I was in my bedroom today and Noah came running in to tell me,

"Something's happening."

If you are unfamiliar with the language of Childese, this sentence, roughly translated, means, "I did something you're probably going to be mad about, and I had to come get you, because it's still going on."

An example of this is one time when Zachary came knocking on the bathroom door to tell me,

"Something's dripping."

I thanked him and told him I'd be out in a minute, thinking it was probably a faucet left on in the kitchen. Imagine my surprise when I walked in a few minutes later to see the fridge wide open with a half gallon jug of apple juice laying on it's side glugging sticky liquid all over my kitchen floor.

But today, it wasn't apple juice. I walked in to find my printer vomiting a large number of fully covered grayscale sheets of paper that look like this:


I rushed to stop the printing process and found out there were still 108 copies in progress.

One of my biggest pet peeves is that every website that has games and activities for kids has a big old PRINT button somewhere on the screen.

Seriously. I don't know how many times I've found a dozen copies of Caillou and his friends decorating the floor around the computer desk, or 30 copies of Elmo my kids have "colored" using the computer.

There's something very wrong about the fact that it's harder for me to go through the procedure of printing out a recipe for chicken enchiladas on Allrecipes.com than it is for my 4 year old to print out 128 copies of the "Extreme Taz Half Pipe Challenge" on WarnerBros.com. This is the very reason I got rid of my color ink jet printer years ago and got a black and white laser jet printer with a large cartridge.

I haven't done the research, but I highly suspect that Nick Jr., Cartoon Network and Disney.com have all cut some sort of a deal with Hewlitt Packard. It's an evil conspiracy, and it's just plain wrong.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, Natalie, that's just too funny! Um, the printer does have an "off" button, doesn't it? ;-) ~Cindy (SCS Moover and Shaker)

Natalie said...

Well, yes, it does, but I found it just now...;)

It was hidden in the back, which is exactly where it needs to be to keep the kids from turning it on, I guess!

Matthew Taylor said...

Ahhh... that's cute. You called it Hewlitt Packard and not HP.

Do you use a video cassette recorder to record programs on your television?

Maybe you use a cellular telephone to place calls while you're driving in your automobile?

Just teasing you Natalie. I just haven't heard HP called Hewlett Packard for ages.

Natalie said...

Hey, Matthew? Bite me.

I've already admitted what an old lady I am in my previous posts, haven't I? MUST you rub it in?

You'd better be glad you live in another state or I'd come over there and clean your clock! ;) (How's that for an old fashioned term?!)

Matthew Taylor said...

You crack me up Natalie!

You might want to notify your nursing home to have your oxygen ready and a new pair of Depends, since it sounds like we may be getting ready to throwdown.

Oh sorry, throwdown is another word for fisticuffs.

:)

Natalie said...

Snort!! :D